Are you ready?

I get that white people can be touchy about the "'r' word." How could I not? If I mention racism in regard to something certain white friends, coworkers, acquaintances, or strangers say or do, the automatic reaction is as though I am besmirching his or her character and calling them a card-carrying KKK member, or at least someone who explicitly supports the concept of white superiority and privilege as well as prejudice against and discrimination toward people of color. They feel as though I have personally insulted them. They start defending their character. Then I make the decision whether to take it any further in hopes of keeping our relationship real, to let them off the hook and carry on a less authentic relationship with them, or distance myself from them because it's highly doubtful they are willing to really open to what I'm saying and look inside themselves; pointless to bang my head against a wall for nothing.

Or maybe deepening my relationship with that person and attempting to free it and them from the shadow of racism is not worth my time and effort. You see, I get tired. So there I am, trying to just have a day, and now I'm having to make a judgment within a few seconds whether I believe you are ready to free yourself and our relationship (and every relationship with every black person you encounter, whether its your friend, classmate, neighbor, son-in-law, co-worker, cosmetologist, busdriver, student, or pharmacist) from the influences of racism that you are the beneficiary of. If I get it wrong, it will impact my willingness to intuit whether someone else who is truly is ready is ready, and that upsets me greatly. I hate the idea of lost opportunities as much as I hate to waste my words and time.

What I want to point out here is that, regardless of one's personal beliefs and philosophy espousing equality of all people, Society has indoctrinated white (and black) people into subconscious and preconscious presuppositions; implicit biases of white supremacy and black inferiority --apart from physical prowess, entertainment value, and profitability through exploitation--, black threat, and black disposability. This shows up almost instantly, before the prefrontal cortex even gets a chance to reflect and consider; it is fed to the prefrontal cortex as a factual perception and processed as such or rendered invisible; in other words, this precogniive reaction automatically guides valence, cognition, motivation, and evaluation. The racism happens below your awareness, and cognitive dissonance helps you to find any other reason and name for what you just felt, thought, said, or did because you are not a racist. This is the insidious nature of implicit bias born of structural, institutional, societal, and systemic racism.

The System is designed to work against black people, and you have been indoctrinated not only not to see this, but also to re-enact the system in your perceptions, attitudes, reactions, and dealings with people of color. You will never be able to see this without the willingness to see it, and then without making the nonintuitive choice for radical vulnerability and honest self-reflection. If you don't believe it, you won't perceive it. Questioning yourself in this way is counterintuitive, and you probably cannot do it consistently and deeply without help.

That help starts with a black person holding up a mirror uninvited because you just unknowingly psychologically assaulted her or him in a small or big way; or a fellow white person taking you aside and letting you know after the fact. It continues when you choose to let down the guard you instinctively, automatically put up; when you become open, curious, and vulnerable; and then when you refuse to collapse into guilt and shame; when you keep yourself in a state of humility, exploratory curiosity, vulnerability, and respect for other perspectives. It continues when you accept that the lived experience of a black person in a White-centric society makes that person an authority on the topic. IT IS EVIDENCE all by itself. It continues when you realize you can no longer discount their view as a form of chip-on-the-shoulder minority paranoia. It continues with you sitting with the deep discomfort that rises in your gut from the meaning of all of the above. It continues with making amends. It eventually continues with becoming quicker on the uptake after the fact of the transgressions. It continues with catching yourself in the act as and then before you open your mouth (or keep it shut when you shouldn't, depending on the circumstance) before your part of the damage is done. It continues with teaching your children by word and more importantly by example. It continues with making community and political choices for social justice. EVERY DAY. It continues, and continues...

When are you done? How should I know when your last day on Earth is? The edifice of institutional, structural racism is having its 401st birth year, and it continues to update itself with the times. The monster of systemic racism is ubiquitous. These Forces continue to implant implicit bias --like a deliberate worm infestation slipped into the ear and infiltrating the brain-- into every white (and black) mind in favor of white supremacy hidden from you and everpresent to us.

NEWSFLASH: Freeing the slaves did not wipe the slate clean. Ending Jim Crow did not wipe the slate clean. Civil Rights legislation did not wipe the slate clean. The blowback from martyring Martin Luther King Jr. did not wipe the slate clean, nor did declaring his birthday a national holiday (not celebrated in Arizona, by the way, and called Lee/Jackson/King Day in Virginia until 2000). Electing and re-electing a biracial president did not wipe the slate clean. Congress passing an Anti Lynching bill after 100 years of failing to do so does not wipe the slate clean, especially since the current president, loved by devout racists everywhere and to whom he panders, is the one who must sign it into law. This is a lifetime marathon, not a sprint completed at the end of a conversation or some black dude's blogpost. You will never finish as long as you draw breath. That's if you do it right.

So, are you ready? I pray you are.